They Say It Gets Easier
by TheWickedQuill
Summary: They say it gets easier. That the pain dulls over time. They lied. Complete. MA implied
1. Part 1

They Say It Gets Easier

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Title: They Say It Gets Easier  
Author: jracklesfan77  
Show: DA  
Genre: Angst  
Pairing: M/A implied  
Rating: PG-13, references and language  
Type: 3 Parter, Complete

Summary: They say it gets easier. That the pain dulls over time. They Lied.

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Part 1

**Alec's POV**

They say it gets easier. That the pain dulls over time. But as far as I can tell, the only way to mend a broken heart is to find someone else to love; to put your energy, caring and concern into another person. And I just don't think that I can.

How can things change in such a short span of time? I can still remember the first and last time I tasted the sweet essence that was Max. It was just before Christmas.

_"It could be a trap, Alec," she stated angrily, legs planted firmly, arms crossed over her chest, chin ever-defiant as she struggled to keep her cool._

_"You think I don't know that? Give me a little credit, Max." Bitterly, I looked up at the girl I'd come to care for, the girl I'd do anything for. The same girl who ignored all the signs, never seeing what she meant to me._

_"White has Logan. Your boyfriend, remember? This is me doing you a favor, Max. This is me, skipping out on Christmas dinner at Terminal City and the possibility of a warm, willing female to keep me company later on. Can we just get this over with?"_

_Max scowled. "We're not like that," she hissed. "And is sex all you ever think about?"_

_"No, but at least it's pleasant. Jeez, Maxie! This is the holiday of good will and cheer. I should be getting a little lovin'! It's not too much to ask!" This is what she had reduced me to, a whiny child. Pathetic._

_A few quick strides left Max standing directly in front of me. She placed her hands on my upper arms, never breaking eye contact._

_"I appreciate this, Alec. Really, I do. I hope this makes up for whatever you feel you'll be missing out on." Without warning, she leaned forward, brushing her warm, dry lips over mine. My mind blanked for a moment while I revelled in the feel of her soft mouth. When I reached up to cup the back of her head, lacing my fingers through her silky hair, and pulling her closer, harder against my mouth, she gasped. I took the opportunity to slip my tongue between her lips._

_It was a feeling I'll never forget. Desire coursing through me, the soft texture of her tongue, her lips were fiery, her caresses became passionate and demanding. She was giving in and it was beyond my comprehension. _

_Hands were no longer idle, fingers dancing over heated skin, leaving trails of fire that burned so deep that I knew I'd be scarred for life. It was as if she were water to desert thirst, daylight to sun-starved earth, the breath in my lungs. But all good things come to an end._

_Max stepped away, turning her head aside to hide the blush that crept up her neck and over her cheeks. But I'd seen her eyes, flashing, her lips swollen and ripe, heard the harsh, rapid breathing. And I knew, no matter how hard she pretended, that she _felt_. This was my chance..._

_"Max, we need to talk about this. Later, after the raid. When Logan's back safe and sound, you and I _will_ talk," I lifted her chin with my finger, catching her eyes. She nodded mutely._

_Calling to the team of transgenics I'd chosen for the raid, I issued the necessary orders. I took Max's hand and squeezed lightly. "Everything's gonna be okay, Maxie." _

_Slipping back into the cool, collected soldier that I am, I nodded at her. "Let's fall out." _

The raid should have gone off without a hitch. To tell you the truth, penetrating White's security was easier than we'd expected. The only thing we hadn't counted on was finding Logan like we did. That, and getting caught.

_"Biggs, Demi, Cade, take the South perimeter. Becca, Quinn, Gem, North. Jake, Cara and Axel have East. Max, you and I are going after Logan. We'll meet up at the extraction point within the hour. If we don't make it, don't wait for us." Seeing Biggs' frown, I added forcefully, "That's an order."_

_We cleared the fence easily and felled the smattering of men guarding the building. We were short one man for this operation and it made me uneasy. I knew that Max and I could take care of ourselves, but I would have preferred a full detail of twelve for the raid. As it was, we had Mole on backup comms in the van. Dix was standing by, already hacked into the surveillance cameras and ready to give us the go-ahead._

_"Alec, you're free to move. No sign of life anywhere in the compound. Be careful," his voice crackled in my earpiece. _No sign of life?_ I thought with a grimace. That didn't bode well for any of us. It was either an elaborate trap or Logan was dead. Both possibilities sucked._

_Following Mole's directions, we made our way through the building, searching every room for signs of Logan. The last room we came to was locked. Like that could stop us._

_Max kicked the door in and rushed headfirst inside. I saw her falter, heard the shrillness of her screams as she slid on the slick substance that coated the floor. Looking down, all I could see was red. The thick, pungent, metallic scent of blood hit my senses and I reeled backward as Max hit the ground with a thud. She twisted, finding herself face to face with the long-since-lifeless form of Logan Cale. Eyes wide and unseeing, hand stretched in what must have been pleading, for his life, for forgiveness, for something he would never have. Logan was well and truly dead._

_I watched as everything moved in slow motion. Max's eyes widened in sudden fear, her mouth falling open, words failing to pass her lips as she pointed and shuddered at something over my shoulder. I whirled to see the devil incarnate; Ames White, sneering, gun aimed at the space between my eyes. I closed them, took a deep breath, opened them again and sighed._

_"Ames," I nodded, smirking at my nemesis. "Great place you got here. Be a nice host, it's Christmas Eve. Got any food?" I stood strong yet seemingly nonchalant. I kept my apprehension hidden behind that never-fail emotionless Manticore mask. _

_"Will wonders never cease? Seems I got my Christmas gift early. Two animals for the price of one. Do you have any idea what your kind goes for on the open market?" White's reply made my blood boil. "I only need 452. You, on the other hand, 494, will fatten my wallet. And gain me the esteem I deserve from the Conclave." He chuckled, the sound chilling and evil, making its way down my spine. "I can't believe I'm doing this, but...thank you."_

_Lucifer was laughing at me. I was a plaything for the devil._

_How fitting. Born to hell, desperate to survive in a chaotic world, and now thanked by the devil for the pleasure of killing the woman I love and destined to have god knows what done to me. There was no way I'd let that happen. Not without a fight._

_I lunged at White. Maybe some higher power was looking out for us, as White seemed to be caught off-guard. We tumbled, loud grunts and groans filling the air as my fists made contact with his body. The Iron Man would not give and returned my punches and kicks with increased force. I yelled for Max to make a break for it, to run and never look back, but she stood defiant and stubborn as ever. So when I was thrown across the room and fell atop Logan's prone form, she let out a howl of rage. But before she could make her move, White's gun was trained on me again._

_"I'll let him go, 452. Tell me where Ray is, give yourself up, and he can go," The words came between panting breaths. If only Max noticed he was out of breath. Maybe I had hurt him enough for us to get the upper hand._

_Max seemed to sense this. In the blink of an eye, a dagger found itself protruding from White's gut. He might not have been feeling the pain, but the action crippled him enough that he let go of the gun. Clasping it tightly, I turned the barrel towards him as I rose to my feet. _

_"Max," I called over my shoulder. "The window." I heard the faint shuffling behind me, the creak of rusty hinges as she pried the glass pane from the frame. When she called to me to follow, White seized the advantage. The moment I glanced to the side, he attacked. The gunshot cracked loudly in the empty room, a blinding flash of pain tore through my chest. And finally, darkness._

Part 2


	2. Part 2

They Say It Gets Easier

Part 2

**Max's POV**

They say it gets easier. That the pain dulls over time. I guess they're right.

But maybe it's just easier to pretend. I'm not over him. How could I be over him? We'd never had a relationship, we were nothing more than friends. But I lied to myself, drumming into my brain that I was never into him. That I didn't crave him. That whenever he left I didn't fear that he might never return.

A body and mind at war. I was never into him. But I was.

_Alec._

Just thinking about him hurts. The night of the raid, so many months ago, is still fresh in my mind. Every day I make my way to the command post. Every day Dix shakes his head sadly. Mole puffs thoughtfully on a cigar, lays a hand on my shoulder and says, "Don't worry, Max. He wouldn't give up on us; we sure as hell won't give up on him."

But I have, haven't I? I've moved on, given up.

Running a hand through my hair distractedly, a trait I picked up from Alec, I close my eyes. I can still feel him pressed against me; his lips on mine, hands roving over my body. I'd wasted so much time with Logan that could have been spent with Alec. He cared about me, I know that now.

_Logan._

Bright flashes of a white room, the stench of death, of blood. The stale smell of urine released in fear. His face, waxen and tinged blue at the lips, eyes wide and empty, staring, begging. The pain. The pain doesn't dull for me.

A hand at the small of my back, another brushing hair from my eyes. The familiar scent of light, masculine cologne and the pure male muskiness that is my boyfriend.

_Biggs._

I don't know where I'd be today without his support. He was there for me, when I grieved. For Logan, for Alec, for a future I hadn't known I'd held in my hand for brief moments, only to lose to White.

_White._

Anger courses through me and I tense beneath Biggs' sure touch. He feels it, knows what I'm thinking. He always knows. Pulling me against him, I melt into his comforting embrace. I flash cold, hot, scared, angry, frustrated. And I yearn to be touched. To feel loved.

Biggs takes a deep breath and looks meaningfully into my eyes.

"It's time, Max. Are you sure this is what you want?" His eyes are soft, tone gentle. Never forceful, always letting me take the lead. Something he learned from Alec, and from the me I've let surface in the months following such great loss.

My voice barely above a whisper, I reply. "I'm sure."

Biggs takes my hand and leads me to our bed. I'm not quite sure, but after everything I've lost, I know better than to turn away from a good thing. And Biggs is a good thing, a sure thing. He loves me. Maybe I can learn to love him too. But for now it's enough.

The room is dark, illuminated solely by moonlight. The rays dance across his naked chest, dark hair gleaming under silver spotlight. Our hearts beat in synch, a rapid, steady tempo as we engage in an age-old dance. His skin is damp with sweat that coats my tongue with salty residue. We're powerless to resist the fire that drives us to completion. We consume each other greedily in our fevered state. We're cut from the same cloth. He is bred of the same manipulated genes as I; robust, strong, beautiful, insatiable.

_"Mine,"_ he growls, biting deeply into the tender flesh of my shoulder. I shudder a moment as the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. The air feels different tonight but not because of my heat. It's something I don't quite understand; a familiar sensation that I cannot identify. I am unwilling to dwell on the unknown, rather choosing to stay in the here and now. Here and now, with Biggs, my mate.

I close my eyes, biting back tears, refusing to cry for my past.

_"Yours."_

Part 3


	3. Part 3

They Say It Gets Easier

Part 3

**Alec's POV**

It had been months. Long months of torture by White, of being shifted, sold to the highest bidder. Months spent being lugged around by various parties, the last of all being the South Africans. They finally got what they wanted; a live stud, a hybrid male to poke and prod, test and try.

I'd been a test subject, a revved up guinea pig. It was only after they decided to 'breed' me that I was given some freedom. Released from my restraints, given leave to walk about the complex. Under heavy guard.

But when did that ever stop me?

_"Leave him. Even if he tries to escape, he won't get far. We're on an island." The steely-eyed guard motioned to his companion to release the cuffs encumbering my wrists. I rubbed them, trying to massage the circulation back into my aching limbs._

_"That was a mistake," I snarled, pouncing on the guard to my right. Loose handcuffs clicked as I chained him to the heavy, metal bunk. The other man didn't even have time to draw his gun before I knocked him out. His firearm found its way into my hand as my mind ran a mile a minute, planning, thinking, preparing. _

_An island, huh? And they thought that could stop me? I had everything to live for and I meant to do just that. I would go home to my Maxie - she _would_ be mine, the connection we'd shared so briefly was definitely two-sided - home to Terminal City, to Biggs, Mole...home. _

_With renewed hope, I made my way out of the complex, removing the threats in my path as they came, intent on making it to the beach. _

Imagine my surprise when I found myself at cliff's edge, jagged rocks rising threateningly below. An island, yes. A raised island devoid of sandy shores.

_Fuck._

_I calculated the distance from where I stood; how far I would have to jump to avoid the knife-edged rocks that taunted me alongside the voice of self-doubt that sprung from the far reaches of my subconscious. 'You'll never make it. Might as well give up. Jump and you're a dead man.'_

_Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to calm down. And then I ran._

_It was some time later that I resurfaced, breaking the icy water and gasping for air. The sirens were already blaring and I knew it was only a matter of time before the search would lead them to the cliffs. I began steady strokes before diving underwater. Never before had I been so thankful to Manticore. Prolonged exposure to extreme temperatures and time spent in the tank saved my life._

_I spent weeks traveling through Africa. It was only after I got to Morocco that I tried to contact Terminal City. My call was intercepted somehow, and all I got for my trouble was a full police tail that chased me relentlessly. The South Africans don't take kindly to escapees. Especially escapees that they'd spent millions on. Collaboration with the Moroccan authorities was a given, and their combined brutalities have marked my body, laying testament to my trials. But even they could not hold me back from my goal._

_Finally, after close to a month laying low and keeping beneath the radar, I reached Seattle. The familiar drizzle and dark skies felt like home. It was warm and sticky. Kind of like the aftermath of a great round of sex, only without the pleasure. I trudged through the streets, coming to a halt just outside the main gates of Terminal City._

The gates swung open and a lone figure greeted me with obvious shock.

"Alec? God, I never thought I'd see you again, man!" Axel enveloped me in a tight hug.

"It's good to be back." I grinned, clapping him on the back.

We walked slowly towards the command center. I wondered at this. I was in a hurry. But I let him talk; being so long without friendly chatter had made me more receptive, despite my urgent desire to see Max. That could wait. Or so I thought.

As we stepped inside, a shocked, hushed crowd gathered around. After the initial surprise had worn off, they bombarded me with questions. I answered as best I could but after a while I noticed the absence of two important people.

"Where are Max and Biggs?" I asked finally. The room fell silent, an eerie kind of silent. My skin began to crawl when I realized the looks I was receiving were sympathetic and uncertain.

"Where are Max and Biggs?" I asked again, louder this time. Edgier.

"We're right here, why? Where's the fire?" came Max's laughing reply. I looked up to see something I never would have imagined.

Max and Biggs came into view, his arms wrapped protectively around Max's waist, chin resting on her shoulder. They looked...sated.

They hadn't noticed my presence. But there was no way I'd have missed theirs. Whispers ran amuck and I heard muted comments. Things I refused to believe.

But as I caught her eye, heard her gasp, face turning white, then to a greyish pallor, I knew it was true. My eyes burned, my heart constricted and after Biggs had lowered Max onto a chair and turned around, we locked gazes.

Time stood still. If I tried to analyze the situation, I would probably have been able to understand where Biggs stood. But all I could feel was hurt. Betrayal.

They say it gets easier. That the pain dulls over time. Whoever said that has never been in love. But I have. And I've lost.

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End file.
